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Living The Business Dream: Staying Strong Through Commitment And Integrity

Taking the time to have the honest, and open conversations with your life partner about what’s important, is the first step toward building true alignment. This alignment will then become the foundation for your relationship and your business.

From our perspective, defining and creating your partnership is not dissimilar to the architectural blueprints of a house. It involves you both becoming one in terms of your vision and purpose for life. And it is for this reason that the Be—Do—Have principle becomes a powerful base from which to define the context of your life. But once that blueprint is drawn, the actual building has to begin.

In this chapter, we will now discuss the two key elements that will support your house to stand strong over your lifetime and enable you to have a lasting, strong relationship. These two elements are: commitment and integrity. They are essential to any healthy relationship. Without them, your relationship—both personally and business-wise—won’t be sustainable.

Commitment: “No matter what happens, you can rely on me”

Something very important happens when the celebrant or priest announces that a man and woman are officially ‘husband and wife.’ At that moment, two people are no longer single; they have stepped into a new reality. Each has given up a way of being in order to fully embrace a new possibility—partnership. It may seem like a small act, but the implications are huge. They have passed through the looking glass. They have embraced an all-encompassing commitment.

But, What does Commitment Mean?

Too often, the word commitment is closely related to the meaning of words like obligation, burden, and responsibility. However, many of these words have negative connotations.

And some people would argue that in our culture the word ‘commitment’ is used far too loosely. For example, how many people think of marriage as a commitment, but only as long as it suits them? How many people favor commitment, but only until a better option comes along?

Let’s be very clear: when we say commitment we’re talking about a new paradigm. The commitment William and I present here is about an absolute commitment. If your past relationships involved only loose commitments, you must let go of the past. How you lived life on your own or with another person will not usually work in your current relationship.

First of all, the commitment you make needs to be something you are excited about, one that makes you feel alive and fulfilled. It can’t be something you do solely to please others or get their approval. It can’t be something you choose simply as a way to ‘get through’ life. ‘Getting through’ life isn’t living.

And, on paper, commitment sounds simple enough. However, living your commitment is not always easy!

Living Your Commitment

The great ice dancers, Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean, had to practice over and over to achieve the incredible synchronicity they displayed as sublime skaters. What would have happened if each had only contributed a 50 percent effort? In a relationship with such high purpose, if each person only gave 50 percent, this doesn’t bring about a 100 percent result. To be successful, they each have to contribute 100 percent.

This is no different to when you make a commitment; you take full responsibility for its success and you give 100 percent of yourself to fulfill the commitment you have made. Just 50 percent will not be sufficient. It means 100 percent, unwavering and unfailing commitment from both of you.

Perfect commitment, however, does not guarantee successful outcomes. In life, there are no guarantees of a smooth ride. When you make a 100 percent commitment, you will then be tested and the roadblocks of life are inevitable. Just ask Torvill and Dean!

Your Past Behavior

A strong indicator is past behavior. Look at some of the things you have said you were committed to in the past (i.e. generating new business, implementing new systems, quitting smoking, losing weight, getting fit, leaving the office and getting home on time to eat with your children). Now ask yourself these questions:

  • What happened to those commitments?
  • What are the hidden, undeclared beliefs or feelings actually driving your behavior?
  • It’s not uncommon for our lives to be incongruent with what we say.

We say that we want to be organized, but we don’t tidy our desk, don’t write down appointments, or make notes during meetings.

We say we are committed to having an intimate relationship, but then we work all hours, day and night, making that impossible. We say we are committed to an equal partnership, but we always insist on getting our own way. We promise that work disagreements with our life partner will stay at work, but then we withhold sex.

If any of this sounds familiar, or if you are not getting the results you want, compare what you are actually committed to with what you say you are committed to. You might say you are committed to working with your partner but you are actually committed to being resentful, or to stopping your partner from ‘taking control.’

Please understand that it’s possible that this is happening and you aren’t even aware of it! That’s why we say you should search for your real commitments. And be brutally honest with yourself.

From our experience, there are too many couples in business who don’t have a strong enough connection and awareness of all the hidden commitments that drive their actions.

This week take a look at what you are committed to; a strong indicator is your past behavior.

Louise Woodbury

If you’re ready to take your business and your partnership to the next level, then contact us today:

Email William or call us at +61 2 9955 8888.

For further insights about this topic we highly recommend reading:

The Invisible Partnership | Ch. 10 "Staying Strong Through Commitment and Integrity"

Commitment requires 100 percent – no matter what!  Integrity is being your word.

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